domingo, 16 de enero de 2011

Cómo trollear a un fan de Justin Bieber

El post de hoy es otro post-tutorial (o como hostias queráis llamarlo) sobre el trolleo (bueno, en realidad voy a copiar un trozo de un artículo que ha escrito otro, porque yo lo valgo). En este caso se trata del ataque a una especie muy molesta que empezó siendo endémica de internet, pero se ha extendido por todas partes y así seguirá hasta que se pase de moda, momento en el que no habrá que desesperarse, pues surgirá otro fenómeno social con fans igual de histéricos de los que reirse y con los que meterse, y así será hasta el fin de los tiempos, porque el ser humano es un puto subproducto asqueroso e inseguro, y si eso lo mezclamos con la pubertad y con la gilipollez suprema que impera en este mundo obtenemos escoria completamente moldeable y patética que irán hasta el fin del mundo por algo que es completamente ajeno a ellos y en lo que invierten toda esa energía que podrían aprovechar en pensar, leer o aprender a sumar. Hablo, como no, de los fans de Justin Bieber hoy, de los Jonas Brothers y Zac Effron ayer y de quien las revistas les digan que tenga que idolatrar mañana.

Pero no voy a despotricar de la ausencia de espíritu crítico de las personas, no. Hoy voy a poneros un fragmento de un artículo de la enciclopediadramatica. El artículo en cuestión es el llamado Diustin Biber (o Justine Bieber, y yo creo que si escribes fagshit te enlazará también), y la verdad es que al leerlo pensé que tenía que compartirlo:

Trolling Bieber Fans

The trolling of Justin Bieber fans is like taking candy from a baby. His fans will get massively butthurt over just about anything. They have some sort of disorder that makes them believe that Justin Bieber is some kind of god and that he cares about them when, in actuality, he will never give two shits about any one of them, and he doesn't like fat chicks anyway. They hold him in such high regard that virtually any mention of him in negative light can produce fantastic results. The following list provides some obvious ways to troll fans.
  • Fangirls are strangely moral and hate when you swear at them meaning when you tell them to go finger there pussy's while simultaneously ramming vibrating dildos up there delicate vagoo's they'll probably block you. Now if you have lots of alt accounts they might instead resort to suicide.
  • Call him gay and say that he has aids (Because he is and he does.)
  • Call him a rapper (Because that's what he is.)
  • Say he uses autotune (Because he does.)
  • Make note of his age
  • Tell them that he doesn't know who they are and will never notice them.
  • Tell them that his manager Scooter Braun really discovered him not on Youtube but fapping on Chatroulette.
  • Tell his fans he's dead.
  • Tell his fans that he died from AIDS.
  • Make a fag username that Bieber might use, tell them you're him and proceed to troll the fuck out of gullible loli.
  • Tell them that Bieber has been castrated before puberty to prevent his voice from deepening.
  • Tell them that the reason why he's so short and never hit puberty is because he has AIDS.
  • Impersonate yourself as one of his fangirls on chatrooms, and claim that the other fangirl is a poser and fake while insulting Justine Bieber.
  • Tell any member(s) of his twelve year old girl fan-base that he's a confirmed homosexual. (enjoy mass an hero)
  • Hours worth of easy trolling here. Warning, mods will get butthurt if you mention anything that they don't agree with and you will be banished.
  • Keep unbanning yourself from Justin Bieber chats.
  • Post this on a fan forum: "Last week Justin Bieber collapsed at a party, and had to have his stomach pumped. They extracted more than a gallon of semen, I swear to god it's true."
  • Post also this on a fan forum: "Last night Justine Beaver confirmed on her twitter account that she will have her first baby. She also said that she can't go to any concerts for a while due to her pregnacy. She also claims that Usher is the father. They planned a wedding in 11. january 2012. I swear to god it's true."
  • Make sure to let them know that Bieber is actually a population control tool. What the young female fans don't realize is that they are subliminally sexually attracted to Bieber because of his feminine characteristics, his hair (styled like many women), his voice (sounds like a girl) and his clothes are something only a woman or a skater fag would pick out. THEY ARE TRYING TO STOP YOU WHITE KIDS FROM PROCREATING. This affects the young male as well, because now he thinks he must emulate Bieber in order to look attractive in the now lesbian female's eyes. Thus JB is turning an entire generation into gays and lesbians just like NSYNC did a decade ago.
  • Tell them you're Justin Bieber's girlfriend [2]
  • Link them to this page
  • Here too.
  • And here
  • and here also Actually one made by trolls for the sole purpose of trolling but should be worth some lulz.
  • [3][4] Link them to these two videos

2 comentarios:

  1. Considérame lector asiduo es posiblemente uno de los mejores en los que eh estado... mi odisea de trolleo empieza ¡AHORA!, Por favor sigue posteando necesito tus consejos para trollear son muy buenos de verdad.

  2. Acaba de comenzar una nueva temporada en mi anime:

    La Saga del Trolleo (Empezando con Justin Biebergas)